I Started Thinkin’ Bout The Rest of My Life

I Hope the Rest Of My Life Involves Long Scarves

Thinking about the future is one of my least favourite things to do but I seem to end up doing it all the time. Usually when I should be doing more productive things like sleeping or focusing on my job. I would probably be on much better terms with the future if I had more control over it, or if it happened to be just a little bit more clear.
     As someone who can't competently plan what will happen tomorrow let alone years down the line the future fills me with a sense of unease. There's also the fact that I am far too young to be concerning myself with such things but here I am none the less. If I were to fathom a guess as to why my future frightens me it would be because both my near and far past are filled with mistakes and regrets and after crunching the numbers it appears what is to come will follow the same trend of that which already is. There's also the fact that I am resistant to all change even that which would make my life better and all the future contains is an endless amount of change.
    As Joe Strummer once said "The future is unwritten" sadly my writing is illegible. 

I'm Surprised That You've Never Been Told Before, That You're Lovely, And You're Perfect, And That Somebody Wants You

Who are you?

Sounds like a simple question doesn't it? If I asked myself that question the answer would be I'm David Johnson a 20 year old radio DJ from Christopher Lake who currently lives in Yorkton. Here's the thing that answer isn't overly helpful. Yes it's true but it doesn't tell anyone who you really are.

What would happen if other people were asked who you are?

Now things get interesting. You could ask three people this question: A parent, a close friend, and a coworker/friend you aren't that close with and you would get a different answer. A regular topic of conversation with one group of my friends is who you really are since everyone acts and thinks differently depending on who they are with. It's almost as if there are 5 different versions of you walking around if not more! And on top of all these there is also the person you want to be. Now here is the question which one of these versions is the real you?

A week or so ago I decided to walk around for awhile after work since it was a nice night and for whatever reason my favorite time to wander is the middle of the night. It's quite relaxing there aren't many people or cars around so you can go wherever you please and clear your head or think about whatever drifts into your mind. While taking this walk I got on the topic of who I really am and realized that I wasn't happy with all the versions of me. After (over)analyzing various comments and situations from the past year or so I realized that I can come off as bad person. For whatever reason at some point in the past I decided to try and be more serious which lead to me being a bit of a jerk and a bitter person. This is not who some people see me as and this is not the version I want to be,

I got thinking about who I really am and realized that I am not a bitter person. Yes I am skeptical and cynical at times but at my core I am an optimist who has one goal in life. This goal is the reason I originally got into radio and is more or less the reason I do most of the things I do. My goal is simple, my goal is to make people happy plain and simple by any means possible. It's the reason why I have always enjoyed doing charity work and community service and don't mind being the but end of the joke or making a fool out of myself for the sake of making someone laugh.

Now for the fun part what does this mean? Quite frankly I don't at this point in time and I probably won't know for awhile. What I do know is that I am going to stop trying to be somebody else and some people are going to see some changes over the next while. Of course there will also be people who see no change whatsoever since they managed to see a version of me that I am happy with.

So if your looking for a good way to kill a lot of time ask yourself, who are you? And don't forget to tell the truth.