So my plans to be productive actually worked! I was in work later than I wanted but I got prep done and my show sounded way better! I was able to have more cohesive breaks and some of them were kind of funny. My last break of the day inspired me to create a new game called What Does it Take To Make People Call In. The way this game works is to make people call in because of what I say and not for contests. The goal is not to be offensive, all that would do is get me fired and nobody wants that (I hope). Today I made sure I had a coworker come on with me so that I didn't accidentally become offensive. I will call this coworker Yellow for no reason other than I like the way it sounds. Today the game turned out well I had two people call in. One said I was a complete idiot for saying that people should text and drive to fight peer pressure, The other caller hung up before I could talk to them I am thinking they would have said something similar.
Why are the Kardashians famous? This question is boggling and angering. They have no talent or known skills except being famous. At least Paris Hilton pretended to sing and act and there was only one of her. I am beginning to think the Kardashians are multiplying like some strange mutant that splits into two indecipherable copies every year. Apparently they were on a talk show and claimed they were hard working and their talents were marketing. They are not hard working they party all night. They have no skills in marketing they have skills in dating B-list celebrities recording their sexual antics having one of their cronies release the recordings when they inevitably break up. Then they play the victim and lap up the sympathy and media attention while recording another tape for when everyone gets sick of their last exploit and moves onto real news. If anyone out there can explain peoples fascination with these harpies and can figure out why people watch TV shows centered around their shallow and petty antics please let me know!
Also Bill Gates is on the Daily Show right now. More people should focus on him and his charitable efforts instead of people that are famous for being famous and the world will be a better place!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Will You Bring Me Happiness, Will You Bring Me Sorrow?
What is the protocol for writing a blog when you have nothing that you really want to write about. It's not that I haven't done anything it's just I don't feel like writing about any of it. I didn't originally intend for this to be a rant blog since many people do not enjoy rant's and enough people do it already but over the last few weeks this one has been building and I have vented it a few times without anyone telling me to fall off a cliff so I will eventually put it in here but not today mainly because I am still half asleep from my nap. Actually I am quite proud of myself since I was able to nap for only 3 hours instead of the usual 7. A 7 hour nap would severely screw me up for tomorrow since I have to be in by 9 A.M. however I will try to be in by 7:30 or 8 so I can do proper prep. I should have been doing prep this whole time but I am lazy and un-motivated so I just used my laptop and did it on the fly. I have decided there is no time like the present to apply myself and get the best sounding show I possibly can.
Starting Thursday I will be starting the most important task of my life. On Thursday morning The Man Child is leaving at some ungodly hour to go to Cuba and that means I will be looking after the single most important thing in the whole house and possibly the whole world for a week. I have been tasked with looking after Leaf. For those of you who don't know Leaf she is a 12 year old border collie and she is the closest thing to a child that The Man Child has. This doesn't sound like an overly hard task but there are 3 things that will make this difficult. The first being that Leaf is a mooch hound. It doesn't matter what you have, it if it goes in your mouth she wants. This includes everything from soup to Advil. If your eating something that she can eat and there is a fair amount of it then giving her some is no big deal but when you have something like chocolate that she can't have or if there is just enough for yourself and you can't share with her she looks at you as if your withholding food from a starving Ethiopian. Second if something should happen to Leaf I am dead. If she so much as has a Grey hair that wasn't there when The Man Child left I will have to leave town and change my name. This wouldn't be too bad if she was a young dog however it is entirely possible that I could do nothing wrong and she could become ill. And most importantly Leaf becomes incredibly depressed when The Man Child leaves to go pick up a can of pop. I cannot imagine how she will react to The Man Child leaving for one week. If you hear rumors of me leaving the country and never returning you know what happened. This turned out to be a much longer post than intended. Not bad for not wanting to write anything!
The David Formerly Known as Johnson
Starting Thursday I will be starting the most important task of my life. On Thursday morning The Man Child is leaving at some ungodly hour to go to Cuba and that means I will be looking after the single most important thing in the whole house and possibly the whole world for a week. I have been tasked with looking after Leaf. For those of you who don't know Leaf she is a 12 year old border collie and she is the closest thing to a child that The Man Child has. This doesn't sound like an overly hard task but there are 3 things that will make this difficult. The first being that Leaf is a mooch hound. It doesn't matter what you have, it if it goes in your mouth she wants. This includes everything from soup to Advil. If your eating something that she can eat and there is a fair amount of it then giving her some is no big deal but when you have something like chocolate that she can't have or if there is just enough for yourself and you can't share with her she looks at you as if your withholding food from a starving Ethiopian. Second if something should happen to Leaf I am dead. If she so much as has a Grey hair that wasn't there when The Man Child left I will have to leave town and change my name. This wouldn't be too bad if she was a young dog however it is entirely possible that I could do nothing wrong and she could become ill. And most importantly Leaf becomes incredibly depressed when The Man Child leaves to go pick up a can of pop. I cannot imagine how she will react to The Man Child leaving for one week. If you hear rumors of me leaving the country and never returning you know what happened. This turned out to be a much longer post than intended. Not bad for not wanting to write anything!
The David Formerly Known as Johnson
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Time May Change Me, But I Can't Trace Time
I wish I was Jon Stewart. Seriously he is hilarious and smart and good looking. I have a well known man crush on Jon Stewart as well as my favorite SCILF Stephen Colbert. I just can't figure out how they tackles huge controversial issues tastefully and hilariously at the same time (besides the fact they have writers) This makes it hard for me to understand why some people hate both of them so much. I'm not talking about the meh I don't watch them kind of people I mean the they aren't funny and they are idiots who are destroying the world. I have nothing witty to say about this mainly because I am not named Colbert or Stewart. I will not though I am watching the daily show and laughing.
Today is a mixed day. Both good and bad things have happened just like any other day. I finally got my Bio on the station website. If you want to check it out here it is http://941thefox.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=116&Itemid=149 . Also today I learned that the person who is probably my best friend from work is leaving in two weeks. It is bittersweet because I know she will be happier and better off in the long run. I also know I will be slightly miserable without her for a few days. On the plus side I still have the Man Child as my room mate as well the little man. (ya that's right I am speaking in code suck it Trebek). Also my awesome boss is letting me have Friday and Saturday off to let me do the only thing that keeps me sane and lets me see my friends and that thing is SYP. My favorite SCILF is coming on so I am heading out
Keep on Rockin in The Free World
Today is a mixed day. Both good and bad things have happened just like any other day. I finally got my Bio on the station website. If you want to check it out here it is http://941thefox.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=116&Itemid=149 . Also today I learned that the person who is probably my best friend from work is leaving in two weeks. It is bittersweet because I know she will be happier and better off in the long run. I also know I will be slightly miserable without her for a few days. On the plus side I still have the Man Child as my room mate as well the little man. (ya that's right I am speaking in code suck it Trebek). Also my awesome boss is letting me have Friday and Saturday off to let me do the only thing that keeps me sane and lets me see my friends and that thing is SYP. My favorite SCILF is coming on so I am heading out
Keep on Rockin in The Free World
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
And If You Want To Be Free, Be Free
I am starting to realize I *might* be bad a driver. I began to wonder about a few weeks ago when I hit the ditch in my way for the 8th time and I believe it was confirmed when I did it for the 9th time on Sunday. Then when you factor in 3 speeding tickets 2 collisions and a rollover well the numbers speak for themselves. However it is my belife that only 1 of the collisions and 3 of the times I hit the ditch were my fault. All the other ones legitimately are the fault of other drivers, unavoidable road conditions, or a vehicle malfunction in a car that wasn't my own. In fact when I look at the total kilometers driven my accident to kilometer ratio is probably an incident every 10,000 kilometers which isn't horrible but still could use some improvement. Looking only at my driving 2011 is way worse than 2010 and 2009 but still better than 2008 and 2007.
Something shocking has happened back home in Christopher Lake. My room is no longer my room! I knew this was coming for the last few months and last time I was home I cleaned it out and put all my remaining stuff in boxes for use at a later date. However it didn't truly hit me until I went home on the weekend and instead of sleeping in the water bed in my room that is currently housing one of my sisters friends I slept in the spare room. This is arguably one of the most unsettling things I have ever experienced I always operated under the assumption that the only thing that never changes in the word is your room back home. Alas this is not the case. The person currently occupying my room is a nice enough person they play many of the same video games I enjoy and is a vegetarian but I still feel slight resentment because they have invaded what was previously the only space that was mine and mine alone. Now I have no such space but that's a whole other issue in itself.
- Crash Johnson
P.S. The other day one of my friends read one my blog posts out loud to me and I couldn't get over how boring it sounded. My apologies to you if you die of boredom reading this.
Something shocking has happened back home in Christopher Lake. My room is no longer my room! I knew this was coming for the last few months and last time I was home I cleaned it out and put all my remaining stuff in boxes for use at a later date. However it didn't truly hit me until I went home on the weekend and instead of sleeping in the water bed in my room that is currently housing one of my sisters friends I slept in the spare room. This is arguably one of the most unsettling things I have ever experienced I always operated under the assumption that the only thing that never changes in the word is your room back home. Alas this is not the case. The person currently occupying my room is a nice enough person they play many of the same video games I enjoy and is a vegetarian but I still feel slight resentment because they have invaded what was previously the only space that was mine and mine alone. Now I have no such space but that's a whole other issue in itself.
- Crash Johnson
P.S. The other day one of my friends read one my blog posts out loud to me and I couldn't get over how boring it sounded. My apologies to you if you die of boredom reading this.
Friday, January 21, 2011
I've got a smile on my face and I've got four walls around me,
I need to find a constructive use of my free time. Seriously all I do in my free time is sleep and mess around on my computer and I cook if I feel really ambitious. This didn't use to be a problem when I was in P.A. or Saskatoon but here in Yorkton it is mainly because everyone I know is either married possibly with kids or they work when I don't. I cold try finding a hobby but nothing really jumps out at me I will most likely get back into playing guitar again. The first step will be picking up strings and such and I think old Neil (Young not Diamond) needs a proper tune up so I will be looking into that in the near future after that I will hopefully spend at least a half hour daily plucking strings and strumming chords but I don't expect anything until the first or second week of February.
I personally think New Years resolutions have some merit to them in the sense that it is good to set goals and strive to be a better person but I have never been a fan of the January 1st start date since January is arguably the most depressing month of the whole year. That is why this year I chose the equally arbitrary but possibly more symbolic Groundhog Day to start my resolution. Another reason for choosing Groundhog Day is that my resolution requires me to go to the gym and I am hoping by February a chunk of the other resolutioners have flunked out which would mean a less crowded gym. There is a chance I will change my resolution from be fit enough to play Rugby to something different but I highly doubt it unless I come up with something really good.
Tata for now.
I personally think New Years resolutions have some merit to them in the sense that it is good to set goals and strive to be a better person but I have never been a fan of the January 1st start date since January is arguably the most depressing month of the whole year. That is why this year I chose the equally arbitrary but possibly more symbolic Groundhog Day to start my resolution. Another reason for choosing Groundhog Day is that my resolution requires me to go to the gym and I am hoping by February a chunk of the other resolutioners have flunked out which would mean a less crowded gym. There is a chance I will change my resolution from be fit enough to play Rugby to something different but I highly doubt it unless I come up with something really good.
Tata for now.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Why The Hate on For A Shirt and Tie?
Don't ask me why but I find an immense amount of joy in wearing a shirt and tie. When I say shirt and tie I don't mean a suit I mean a dress shirt dress pants and a tie. Last time a looked a have at least 12 different dress shirts and probably 20 ties. Part of the reason for the ties is the late great Barry Drake who claimed to have a different tie for everyday of the year. I doubt I will reach this goal but if I have enought ties for every day of the month I will be a happy man.
Today I decided to break out a nice light blue shirt with a striped tie to match I was quite happy with it's appearance. I go into work not expecting anything to be said since numerous people in the building wear a shirt and tie. I was wrong. I received nothing but flak over the fact that I had on a matching shirt and tie as if I was wrong and out of line for trying to look professional. I am unsure if it is because I am the youngest person on our side or if it is because I am in a position that is not sales? Or maybe it's because I am not required to wear a shirt and tie and most people view a shirt and tie as some kind of restraint that no person would willingly choose to wear?
Am I crazy for enjoying a shirt and tie and the different combination's of pattern and colour or is everyone else just bitter about having to use buttons?
Today I decided to break out a nice light blue shirt with a striped tie to match I was quite happy with it's appearance. I go into work not expecting anything to be said since numerous people in the building wear a shirt and tie. I was wrong. I received nothing but flak over the fact that I had on a matching shirt and tie as if I was wrong and out of line for trying to look professional. I am unsure if it is because I am the youngest person on our side or if it is because I am in a position that is not sales? Or maybe it's because I am not required to wear a shirt and tie and most people view a shirt and tie as some kind of restraint that no person would willingly choose to wear?
Am I crazy for enjoying a shirt and tie and the different combination's of pattern and colour or is everyone else just bitter about having to use buttons?
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
The First and Hopefully Not, But Possibly Last Entry
Hello all
It seems you have found the first installment of what I am going to call my public diary. I have never been the kind of person who writes in a diary mainly because I find them completely and utterly useless. Really what is the purpose of writing things down in a book that nobody will ever read. The fact that I don't keep a diary raises the question: why are you doing this? I am doing this so I can vent and also formulate ideas and opinions here without having to verbally explain myself and have it explode in my face. I am sure that eventually someone will find offense in what is written in this "blog" and if you are that someone please let me know I love all feedback be it negative or positive as long as it is constructive and not something generic like this sucks. If you are one of the people who see me in person feel free to approach me and berate me for anything that is horribly wrong in here.
I am also using this so everyone can stay in the loop of what is happening in my small world since I have found myself saying the same story over and over. I doubt that will stop with the creation of this however a fellow can dream. Also for those not in the know the title of this blog comes from the exceptional Bruce Cockburn (Pronounced Co-Burn) song called Lovers in a Dangerous Time. The Barenaked Ladies do a great cover as well arguably better than the original. That's all for now I'll write again when the spirit moves me.
- David
It seems you have found the first installment of what I am going to call my public diary. I have never been the kind of person who writes in a diary mainly because I find them completely and utterly useless. Really what is the purpose of writing things down in a book that nobody will ever read. The fact that I don't keep a diary raises the question: why are you doing this? I am doing this so I can vent and also formulate ideas and opinions here without having to verbally explain myself and have it explode in my face. I am sure that eventually someone will find offense in what is written in this "blog" and if you are that someone please let me know I love all feedback be it negative or positive as long as it is constructive and not something generic like this sucks. If you are one of the people who see me in person feel free to approach me and berate me for anything that is horribly wrong in here.
I am also using this so everyone can stay in the loop of what is happening in my small world since I have found myself saying the same story over and over. I doubt that will stop with the creation of this however a fellow can dream. Also for those not in the know the title of this blog comes from the exceptional Bruce Cockburn (Pronounced Co-Burn) song called Lovers in a Dangerous Time. The Barenaked Ladies do a great cover as well arguably better than the original. That's all for now I'll write again when the spirit moves me.
- David
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