For the second time so far I don`t want to write anything but someone asked me too so I feel obligated don`t ask me why. I try not to be bitter but today sucks for some reason sucks. It just seems like everything is trying to straight up get me down. It`s probably karmic retribution for small acts of torture. Seriously earlier I watched Community the one thing that always makes me laugh and fills my heart with joy. Alas for the first time ever this was not the case. I have tried everything possible and just to make things worse the one thing that will make me feel better isn't possible. I know that if I could get some music going I would be back on a trail to being up but as I went to play some Hip my speakers died. So I am stuck being miserable and the stupid part is I shouldn't be since things aren't that bad which makes me guilty since it could be worse which brings me down even more. It's a vicious circle! O.K. so this while writing process is strangely therapeutic.
One of the problems I have is that I always compare myself to others which in itself isn't bad but now I am by the youngest person at work by a few years and I compare myself to everyone and ask myself why I am not doing as well as them and it frustrates me. Thankfully I eventually realize it's mostly because they have a 3-5 years head start on me. I really hope the next post is about how awesome everything is and not how I can't get time off from SYP and that people don't answer e-mails and other things. By the way don't give up on this sad excuse for a blog I feel like a T.V. writer in the sense that I have some awesome posts and ideas on the way but I am spacing them with mindless drivel about my life. If nothing else check back in on Valentines Day it will be a gooder and if you have any advice on how I can quit sucking at life let me know!
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