Are You Ready, For This To Take a Hold of You?

Nothing gets done during the summer. Scratch that less productive things happen during the which is why it has been roughly two months since I have posted anything. At first I felt awful about this then I realized nobody else made a post so now my conscious feels clean.

Since I posted last not much has happened my sister graduated friends have moved away and I started a weight loss challenge with some co-workers. The most significant of these three things is the one about people moving away since I am now without The Man Child and Leaf now that they are in Regina. I now live in an empty house by myself, well for a few weeks at least and I have learned something important about myself. I cannot live by myself. It just doesn't work at all I lay in bed all day and really lose the will to do anything. I think I need someone around to almost impress/motivate me to not be a total slug. Thankfully this should be ending in the near future however I realize that it will continue to be an issue whenever I move or when my roommate takes more than a 3 day vacation.

Well that's all I have at this moment in time next post I will most likely continue the 30 post song challenge with Post 13 "A Song That is a Guilty Pleasure" hopefully it doesn't take 3 months to get it written

A second recurring problem I have is the separation of David Johnson neurotic guy living in Yorkton and Fox FM's David Johnson. I know some of my colleagues have special twitter/facebook/blogs that are meant for the public to see as well as their own private ones but I am not one of those people I just have a fan page my sister made that I periodically update when I remember it exists. However more and more often listeners are finding me on Facebook and Twitter so I now have a dilemma. Do I add them as a friend despite not knowing them to give myself more exposure or do I delete the request and continue to post things willy nilly regardless of how they would affect listeners perception of me. Twitter on the other hand I have less control over who sees so I have decided to go through and sterilize it and remove all mentions and links to the blog since I really don't easy access to it however if someone is determined enough to find then I feel they should be rewarded in being able to read it and all the revealing stuff contained within seeing as how I am far too lazy to update two Facebook profiles, two Twitter accounts and two blogs especially when I go 3 months without uodating just one from time to time.

Do You Wanna Be Somebody Else?

So here is one I have been ready to do for a little while now. It's Post 11 "A song from a band you hate". I am actually really excited for this one since I am very opinionated when it comes to music and there is tons of stuff I dislike and even despise but there are very few artists I hate. In order for me to hate something there has to be no redeeming qualities or merit to anything the group has ever put out and there is only one group I can truly say this applies to.

I feel gross just putting this video on here. My blog has been violated!

My problem with Simple Plan boils down to one simple point. They are the biggest posers in the world. If you look and listen to what they do you see they release an album of music that is whatever is popular at the moment. Their first album was a cheap Blink-182 or Sum 41 rip off and had all their albums been that I wouldn't have that much of a problem with Simple Plan. Heck even on their second album which was a bit darker and sounded exactly like Billy Talent wasn't too large of a departure. Then they officially become shape shifting clones after their third album when they went almost complete pop because that's what was selling at the time. Simple Plan is the equivalent to guy who cheers for whatever won the Superbowl or respective championship and completely denies and forgets cheering for a different team the year before. We all know that person and we all have utter disdain for them since they have no opinion/style of their own and that's Simple Plan in a nutshell.

So I'm back home for a few weeks and I decided to not tell anyone except for a select few that I was returning and so far I am glad that's how I decided to handle it. Usually whenever I come home my phone goes off constantly and I find myself running all over to please everyone. This time I have spent two days at home relaxing, recharging, and recuperating. This does not mean I will not tell my friends and acquaintances that I am in the area since that would mean I would end up on the opposite side of the scale and see no one which would be no fun at all.

I've come out of internet exile and am now checking Facebook at least once a day just to see what everyone is doing. When I was in exile I nearly went insane a few times since I have a compulsive need to know everything about everyone which is rather inconvenient when you know people are telling and keeping secrets but I digress. I did go on Facebook a few times during exile to find out required information for a few events and to fulfill social customs and wish friends Happy Birthdays. I'm glad I went into exile for a little while since I now no longer feel the need to check Facebook every hour. The same applies to Twitter which I haven't returned to except to delete all links to my blog since I have decided I don't want future employers and random followers knowing most of the things I talk about here.

Why Don't We Just Give Up And Go Away?

Time is confusing. When I say that I don't mean the concept of time and the linear aspects of it I mean how time is perceived and how it relates to everything. As of yesterday I have officially been out of High school for two years now but it still feels like I was walking the halls and sitting in class a few days ago. On the other hand in two days I will have been living in Yorkton for a year and it feels like I have been here an eternity. I think Einstein explained why this is however I never learned this in my formal education so I can neither confirm nor deny this.

So in the two years I have been out of the public education what has changed about me? There are some obvious things such as the fact I'm at least 20 pounds heavier, my hair is shorter, and I now receive paychecks instead of report cards. Those in themselves are not big changes since at least one of those changes has happened to every graduate in the history of education. There are also some other changes that aren't as easy to see but are definitely more important. I can now admit that I am wrong. The inability to admit that I was wrong or that I possibly had made a major mistake led to me nearly failing at least one class and alienating numerous people. Even though I am still socially inept I can at least talk to people without breaking into a cold sweat, and most importantly, even if you don't agree with what they say or if you think they are 100% wrong  listen to your boss and do what they say. Usually they turn out to be right and even if they aren't the only way you can show them that they are wrong is to do things their way and let the chips fall where they will. It's not earth shattering stuff but it's stuff I never learned in school.  

There is a second reason I'm focusing on graduation today. On Thursday my younger sister will graduate and she will officially be better than me. This isn't an opinion it's a fact. Just focusing solely on education I graduated just outside The Honor Role thanks to Math B30 and after grad I went and received my diploma in broadcasting after a 5 month stint at a broadcasting college in Saskatoon. In a few days my sister will stand behind a podium and deliver the valedictorians speech and then go to U of A for a few years to get a degree in pharmacy and most likely make more money than me for the rest of my life. Despite the fact that I will play second fiddle from this point on I wish her nothing but success seeing as how the more successful she is the better the house I will be visiting when I take my vacations in future years.

You Say You Got A Real Solution Well You Know, We'd All lLove To See The Plan

For some reason I thought my next post was supposed to be a band I hate. I spent a few days thinking about which artist I absolutely despise and came up with a definitive answer only to discover this post is actually Day 11 "A Song From Your Favorite Band". This is a much more enjoyable post to write since I can think about nice things not wretched things. To make this easier for myself I am interpreting the title as bands only not artists so that I can come to a decision much faster. At this point in time there are two bands that are more or less tied for being my favorite and only one of them has been featured so far so it's time to say hello to John, Paul, George, and of course Ringo.

If I remember correctly this is the third song I sang in front of an audience. Not by myself of course that would be horribly awkward there was an actual rock band involved.

 O.K. so I'm going to have ask you to bear with me for a second because I'm about to say something that will sound incredibly odd/wrong but don't worry it will all make sense in a few minutes.


We are wasting all our compliments on dead people. Think about it dead people apparently told the best jokes, were the best at (insert activity), did the craziest things, and in general were just the best people ever. I am not going argue whether all these statements are true but how much to you want to bet that when they were alive people said they told bad jokes, wasted all their time doing (insert activity here), did the most idiotic things, and were in general a giant pain in the butt. If you ever have the misfortune of going to a funeral you will hear everyone praise the recently deceased and remark and how much they will be missed. How often do you think the deceased's friends and family gave them these compliments when they were alive? Probably not nearly as often as they should have. 


A few years ago I read Tuesdays With Morrie, by Mitch Albom. It's actually quite a good book and I would suggest it if you're looking for a nice light read. Anyways in Tuesdays With Morrie I first heard about "living funerals" The whole idea behind a living funeral is that funerals are wasted on the dead since they can't hear the nice things being said about them and being a corpse and all it's quite difficult for them to converse with all the friends who have traveled to pay their respects so why not have the funeral shortly before you break on through to the other side? Of course this only works if you know your going to die shortly and in a perfect world there would be no need for a living funeral since everyone would tell you how much they appreciate you and how important you really are to them on a regular basis so that should the unfortunate happen both you and they will have no regrets in that regard. 


Just to clarify nobody I know has died recently this is just on of those things my ADHD filled brain decided to stop on a few days ago and for no reason whatsoever it incubated into a full fledged post/thought. So in conclusion if there is anyone who is important to you be it parents, friends, or partners etc. tell them how great they are I'm sure they would appreciate it and it might just make their day

When The Day Is Long And The Night, The Night Is Yours Alone

It is starting to become glaringly apparent that there are certain things I simply cannot do. Actually I should rephrase that since I can theoretically do everything, there are certain things I simply cannot do well. This list includes but is not limited to sitting still for more than two minutes, keeping a normal sleep schedule, intimidating others (I still don't get why people laugh when I get genuinely furious seeing as how I am 6'2 and manage to yell even when I'm calm), complex math, and the latest addition to this list is play baseball. There are a few reasons for my general lack of skill in baseball starting with the fact that not only do I have no experience playing the sport I am also horribly out of shape. I may have never been the epitome of physical fitness but there was a time when I was halfway decent at most sports. Currently I can more or less hit the ball. There is a 30% chance that if a ball comes in my direction I could catch and there is 10% that any ball I throw will land within 5 feet of it's intended target. I would say I throw like a girl but that would be incredibly insulting to females everywhere especially the ones on our team who throw the ball quite well. That being said I am considerably better than I was in the pre-season game but I still have a ways to go if I want to say I am even "decent" at baseball. Also for some reason it took 4 days to write the first segment of this oh the joys of ADHD

Ok time for Post 10: A song you can fall asleep to. I'm going to skip the intro and just lay it on you today

I'm not a huge fan of the video since it makes the song depressing instead of soothing

So I went with R.E.M.'s Everbody Hurts for a couple of reasons. It's not overly loud and it's not so quite that you have to strain to here it , it's not upbeat but it's also not so slow you think your at a funeral, plus it's long enough that you can fall asleep before the next song starts and forces you start the process all over again. Everybody Hurts is a different kind of song compared to most of R.E.M.'s other work and the only other place in their catalog where you will find similar songs is on the 1992 album from which this post's song came Automatic For The People. It's also worth noting that the string arrangement on Everybody Hurts was composed by none other than Led Zeppelin bassist John Paul Jones who was the Led Zep's "Quite One" mainly because he did his job well without fanfare and didn't subscribe to the theatrics of Jimmy Page, John Bohnam, and Robert Plant.

My Daddy's Sleepin' And Mama Ain't Around

So last time I talked at length about what was going on in my little corner of the world and then put the song challenge result up. This time I'm going to switch it up by talking about Post 09: "A Song You Can Dance To" first. This is another hard one due to the fact that I can't dance unless copious amounts of alcohol are involved. I don't particularly enjoy dancing and when I dance it looks like someone having a seizure and a heart attack at the same time. That being said a select few songs have the ability to get me out of my seat even when I'm stone cold sober.

Did you really expect to see something hot and new here?

This is pretty self explanatory. It's a novelty dance that doesn't require more than one move and it's catchy as hell and it gets played at almost every wedding. This could possibly fall into the category of guilty pleasures as well. 

So who want's to come to Yorkton to go and see Gord Bamford next Sunday? I hope somebody does because our sister station GX94 is having a backyard concert and Gord Bamford is the main act. Even though this is a GX event Fox employees are allowed to go and since I happen to not be at work during the backyard concert I signed myself up to go along. Unfortunately I made a mistake when doing so and added a plus 1 beside me name because everyone else on the list had as well. It wasn't until this morning when a co-worker asked who I was taking to the concert. At first I thought he was mocking me then I realized I had inadvertently said I was bringing someone to the concert. I went to quickly remedy the situation then I realized that this was perhaps a great opportunity to invite someone to go along. I quickly remembered that I don't know anyone in Yorkton who doesn't work at the station but now that the idea has entered my head I want to take someone along. This is of course very unlikely since the show is in 7 days and I will probably just white out the plus one when I come to work tomorrow but stranger things have happened. So if you or anyone you and I both know want to see Gord Bamford let me know!

It's These Expressions I Never Give, That Keep Me Searching For a Heart of Gold

I am not dead. I am aware that I have chosen a very odd statement to start this off with and I am sure nobody actual doubted my vitality but it has been said if you don't have an online presence you aren't really alive and at the moment I have no presence. In fact this is the first time since last Sunday that I have posted anything online at all. I also haven't seen what others have posted except for the blogs I subscribe to. Its a state of self exile that came to be for two reasons. First in the span of two or three days I had 5 things happen that on their own are inconsequential and would be almost non-issues but combined in a short frame of time made it so that I was better off not having a way to spew words forth to everyone I know. Second I noticed that the only reason social media exists is to make points and argue about stuff. I have enough stuff to deal with without arguing everything from which kind of ice cream is better to the various political ideologies. I will admit from time to time I enjoy arguing but that's only when it involves people who are articulate and knowledgeable in the topic at hand or at least can add something to the conversation. This is not the case with 98% of the arguments so for the time being I shall remain in exile except for blogs.

This is post 8: A Song You Know All The Words To. This should be incredibly easy seeing as how I know the words to a bunch of songs. However it's a case of I have too many to choose from so I decided to go with one I can play and sing and that always seems to get requested when I whip Neil out. Considering my guitars name this song is fitting

This song also comes from my second favorite Neil Young album

This is also one of the few songs I don't mind playing when it's requested since it's actual quite enjoyable to play. It is easily recognizable, it is mainly chords but also has an easy fill, and everyone knows it. When I first learned how to play Heart of Gold I could also sing almost exactly like Neil Young. This is no longer the case but I still break it out whenever I get the chance.

And If You Want To Find Me I'll Be Out In The Sandbox, Just Wondering Where The Hell All The Love Has Gone

So it has been well over a week since I posted anything and there is a very simple reason. I got stuck. For whatever reason I was incapable of finding a song for posts 6 and 7 for the song challenge. Thankfully my best female friend reminded me that they didn't have to be good memories so I now present the song that reminds me of somewhere as well as a certain event.

So the place is my high school and elementary school gyms and the events are of course the dances that some people might have enjoyed. I was never a big fan of school dances but I also didn't dislike them. If I was forced to take an official stance it would be neutral. The only reason I ever went to these things is because I really didn't go out much in elementary school so these were rare occasions to do something besides sit in my house on a Friday night. The first time I went to one of these I was over joyed it was fun there was junk food and people and music. I was having a grand time until this song came on and ever since that moment dances in general have gone downhill from there. What was everyone just mingling and jumping around became everyone scrambling to find a partner. As luck would have it there happened to be an almost perfect ratio of boys to girls unfortunately there was an uneven number of participants. This was the first of many times I was the odd man out and it seems that ever since then 9 out f 10 times whenever the number of people doesn't work out I end up on the short end of the stick. As well at this dance and even still today I have an aversion to asking people to be my partner in anything so really the reason I'm the odd man out is my own fault.

So the first dance and the first time I heard this song at a dance was a hint of things to come. The same applies to the second dance and playing of the song except it was a new lesson this time. Having learned from past mistakes I now knew that I would have to go outside my comfort zone put myself out there and take a chance unless I wanted to watch from the walls again. However I was shocked to find out that nobody wanted to dance with the weirdest kid in class and I was promptly sent to the wall feeling worse than I did at the previous dance. The same cycle of hesitating and hoping for the best a few times then taking a chance and failing more or less continues to this day and I now find a reason to use the bathroom when this and any other Aerosmith song plays at various types of dances.

But You Can Travel On Ten Thousand Miles and Still Stay Where You Are

So I finally figured out what I could use for post #5 "A Song That Reminds You Of Someone" This is a song I discovered a few years ago and like many songs I first heard it when I was driving home to Christopher Lake from P.A. At the time I was only a few months away from going to broadcasting college and just thought it was a neat song but now after completing school and meeting many different people in the industry I know now people this song could be about and I think none more fitting than the head teacher at WABC

I've been trying for months to learn how to play this song but as of yet no progress has been made.

This song could also be used to describe The Man Child or various other Jocks who managed to make it to the big time and then manage to find themselves back in a small market again due to various trials and tribulations along the way. I know of quite a few people who are married to the job and their wife/girlfriend is the other woman in the relationship. A small part of me is afraid that this may happen to me, I doubt it but only time will tell. Until then this ones for you Don Scott.

Your Future Fades And Your Minutes Are Few

I wasn't really looking forward to doing this post but I know that some better ones are on the way so I should be able to handle it. It is now time for post 4 "A Song That Makes You Sad". I had two candidates for this one. They are the only two songs to ever make me tear up when I heard them, the fact that one of them only accomplished this feat due to it's timing made it much easier to make this decision even though I much prefer the alternate song to the actual song I ended up choosing

Oddly enough I've heard this one 10 times tops but it has stuck with me

I have no clue as to why this song got to me since when I first heard it I was 10 and there really isn't anything in this song I can relate to. I am the oldest of two children and both my parents are alive and well. Despite the previous points when the final verse of this song ended I was sniffling in the back seat of the car. I am going to guess it had something to do with the fact that even when I was 10 I was paranoid and worried about everything and this song brought a certain set of worries to my mind all at once. After that occasion whenever I hear The Baby I will turn the radio off or change stations since that is the only place I ever hear it. It's not that this is a bad song it is quite good I just don't like what it does to me. That being said I haven't heard this song in years and am curious to see what happens next time I come across it.

I have a feeling the only way I am going to be able to select the next song is by listening to copious amounts of music and waiting for someone to pop into my head. It is also the first song that I haven't already decided on and I have a feeling it won't be a last. I hope it's happy I could go for another happy song. Also I decided again to not use lyrics from the chosen song seeing as how none of them really seemed to stand out for me.

Don't You Ever Feel Sad, Lean On Me When Times Get Bad.

Well how fortunate is this, I am in a slightly foul mood today and I get to talk about a song that makes me happy. If I was so inclined and believed that people would be interested in it I could make a list of the 25 songs that make me happy however it is possible to have too much of a good thing so I will try and stick to one. The song I have decided to go with comes from one of my favorite movies of all time The Blues Brothers and pretty much any song performed in the film could have been used. Interestingly enough the song I'm going with is only heard in the background on the radio but nonetheless it stood out and sent me online to find the details on what I was hearing.

The more innuendo the better!

Hold On I'm Comin' is just one of the many hits Sam & Dave had, their most famous work is Soul Man which has been covered by every blues and soul singer over the last 40 years. One of the reasons this song is so great is because and Sam & Dave were recording with Stax records at the time. Most times the label an artist is recording with doesn't make a difference but Stax is the exception due to the fact that they had Booker T and the MG's as their in house band meaning that almost every artist at Stax got some help from the MG's.

Last post I talked about how I usually love a song with some good piano in it but there is one thing better than someone tickling the ivories and that my friends is a horn section. It may have something to do with the band classes I took back in high school but if a song has some horns I'm sold. How can this song not make a person happy it's upbeat it has some horns and is chock full if innuendo. This is one of those songs that can dictate what kind of day you will have if you get the privilege of hearing it first thing in the A.M. 

Come On Take A Little Walk With Me Baby, And Tell Me Who Do You Love?

Day 02 - Your least favorite song.

There are many songs I want to put in here. Working in radio I hear tons of bad music however there is one song that goes above and beyond all other songs in making me want to jump in front of a bus. It's not that this is the worst song ever either I will admit that worse songs exist however I did not have to listen to them every day for an entire summer. Without further ado

The strange thing is this has the potential to be a song that I could love however it does everything wrong. I will admit I am not a big Paramore fan so automatically points get deducted for having Haley Williams. Most times I enjoy hearing piano in a song however I prefer it when they piano is driving the song and isn't just twinkling notes added as an afterthought and then hidden for the majority of the song. I could write a novel on the flaws in this song but I will stop now since no matter how much I rant on how much this song displeases me it won't make the song any better and it won't make me un-hear it. I also couldn't bring myself to use anything from this song as the title.

Things will surely be brighter next time with a song that makes me happy so the future optimism and praise should make up for all the haterade I just drank

Everything Is Bleak It's The Middle Of The Night You're All Alone And The Dummies Might Be Right

I keep seeing "The 30 Day Song Challenge" on Facebook and seeing as I am a music person I want to give it a try but at the same time I don't want to spam my Facebook however I have no problems spamming my blog plus it would be probably be a good idea for me to quit talking about myself for awhile since it's not that exciting of a topic plus I could talk about music all day everyday. I will make one slight change though, it will be called The 30 Post Song Challenge to make it more feasible. Here's a look at what the next 30 posts will include.

Day 01 - Your favorite song
Day 02 - Your least favorite song
Day 03 - A song that makes you happy
Day 04 - A song that makes you sad
Day 05 - A song that reminds you of someone
Day 06 - A song that reminds you of somewhere
Day 07 - A song that reminds you of a certain event
Day 08 - A song that you know all the words to
Day 09 - A song that you can dance to
Day 10 - A song that makes you fall asleep
Day 11 - A song from your favorite band
Day 12 - A song from a band you hate
Day 13 - A song that is a guilty pleasure
Day 14 - A song that no one would expect you to love
Day 15 - A song that describes you
Day 16 - A song that you used to love but now hate
Day 17 - A song that you hear often on the radio
Day 18 - A song that you wish you heard on the radio
Day 19 - A song from your favorite album
Day 20 - A song that you listen to when you’re angry
Day 21 - A song that you listen to when you’re happy
Day 22 - A song that you listen to when you’re sad
Day 23 - A song that you want to play at your wedding
Day 24 - A song that you want to play at your funeral
Day 25 - A song that makes you laugh
Day 26 - A song that you can play on an instrument
Day 27 - A song that you wish you could play
Day 28 - A song that makes you feel guilty
Day 29 - A song from your childhood
Day 30 - Your favorite song at this time last year


Kicking everything off my favorite song not surprisingly coming from one of my favorite artists is My Music at Work by The Tragically Hip. I know my best female friend is also a big fan of this one. I first heard this song driving home in the middle of the night. I had just dropped my sister off at some party and when the song started I turned it up since I had never heard it before but the intro sounded interesting and when the lyrics started I was hooked.

of course I will now be using hip lyrics as a title again but it's totally worth it

I will also make sure the future posts contain more than just a song so that you actually have something to read and possibly even look forward to. Also I'm always looking for things to talk about so if there is anything that you want to have me do a sub-par job on let me know!

I'm Surprised That You've Never Been Told Before, That You're Lovely, And You're Perfect, And That Somebody Wants You

Who are you?

Sounds like a simple question doesn't it? If I asked myself that question the answer would be I'm David Johnson a 20 year old radio DJ from Christopher Lake who currently lives in Yorkton. Here's the thing that answer isn't overly helpful. Yes it's true but it doesn't tell anyone who you really are.

What would happen if other people were asked who you are?

Now things get interesting. You could ask three people this question: A parent, a close friend, and a coworker/friend you aren't that close with and you would get a different answer. A regular topic of conversation with one group of my friends is who you really are since everyone acts and thinks differently depending on who they are with. It's almost as if there are 5 different versions of you walking around if not more! And on top of all these there is also the person you want to be. Now here is the question which one of these versions is the real you?

A week or so ago I decided to walk around for awhile after work since it was a nice night and for whatever reason my favorite time to wander is the middle of the night. It's quite relaxing there aren't many people or cars around so you can go wherever you please and clear your head or think about whatever drifts into your mind. While taking this walk I got on the topic of who I really am and realized that I wasn't happy with all the versions of me. After (over)analyzing various comments and situations from the past year or so I realized that I can come off as bad person. For whatever reason at some point in the past I decided to try and be more serious which lead to me being a bit of a jerk and a bitter person. This is not who some people see me as and this is not the version I want to be,

I got thinking about who I really am and realized that I am not a bitter person. Yes I am skeptical and cynical at times but at my core I am an optimist who has one goal in life. This goal is the reason I originally got into radio and is more or less the reason I do most of the things I do. My goal is simple, my goal is to make people happy plain and simple by any means possible. It's the reason why I have always enjoyed doing charity work and community service and don't mind being the but end of the joke or making a fool out of myself for the sake of making someone laugh.

Now for the fun part what does this mean? Quite frankly I don't at this point in time and I probably won't know for awhile. What I do know is that I am going to stop trying to be somebody else and some people are going to see some changes over the next while. Of course there will also be people who see no change whatsoever since they managed to see a version of me that I am happy with.

So if your looking for a good way to kill a lot of time ask yourself, who are you? And don't forget to tell the truth.

I Am Still Living With Your Ghost, Lonely And Dreaming Of The West Coast

Alleluia Christ has risen, Christ has risen Alleluia.

If you want proof that old habits die hard there it is. I have no idea but for some reason that is the only thing I remember from my time in Sunday school and despite the fact that I am not overly religious anymore I feel a need to say it on Easter Sunday.

 So the fact that I just went through the previous spiel means that lent is over. This year for lent I decided to give up meat, but not for religious or moral/ethical reason. I gave up meat because I wanted to challenge myself and experience just for a little while, the challenges that vegetarians face. I also inadvertently managed to learn stuff along the way thanks to various people from University students to  former vegetarians.

One of the first things I realized is that eating out can be nearly impossible unless you go to a restaurant that  you know has many meatless options. I am glad I decide to keep fish and seafood in my diet otherwise I would be hooped if I ever felt like not cooking at home and eating out. If you eliminate seafood I  found that almost every restaurant has 2-3 meals that don't have meat in them however one of those options will be bread sticks, one will be some unholy concoction of your least favorite foods and 1 option will be something you might enjoy. Add in the fish stuffs and your up to 5-7. I purposefully left out any meals where you can theoretically just pick the meat off and leave it on the side, because you fill like walking into traffic afterwords. I also left off salads because 9/10 times they are a huge rip off or fall into the category of picking meat out.

If I decided to try this out again I will not eat fake meats AKA anything that says meatless then a meat product. These things taste nothing like the originals and make you crave the original harder than you did before you had the imposter. I suspect that if I decided to go meatless for life I would accept these abominations since my tongue would someday forget what the real thing tastes like. The only exception to this is veggie meal (fake ground beef) and veggie burgers which are surprisingly delicious mainly because they offer an alternative to hamburger instead of imitating hamburger.

While going meatless I found that certain fast food places were better than others. When I first started I found solace in McDonalds Fillet O Fish. Before lent I would have one of these occasionally now that lent is over I hope to never put one in my mouth again. I rarely go to Tim Horton's but during lent I went at least 3 times on my way to work for a bagel and a fruit smoothie and possibly an egg salad sandwich. If you have never tried their egg salad sandwich I would suggest you never do it leaves a lot to be desired. Burger King has a decent veggie burger however I have never been a B.K. fan. One place that I found to be incredible useful was Booster Juice since they have various smoothies and some decent wraps. I am unsure of how good subway is. On one hand I went there a few times for tuna and seafood sensation subs. Tuna was fine however seafood sensation is rather perplexing. A six inch sub was not quite filling enough and a twelve inch was too much seafood to handle and there is a chance that it made me violently ill at least once but seeing as how I had it more than once I can't confirm if it was the sole cause.

After everything is all said and done this has been a more or less enjoyable experience and one I am not against trying again in the future for longer lengths of time and after finding out about the effects that meat has on the planet I will definitely be consuming less and will probably do something similar to meatless Mondays. Now that lent has run it's course I will probably wait at least a month before I tackle something else. I blame A.J. Jacobs for my almost need to be challenging myself in some way. If you have not read The Year of Living Biblicaly or The Guinea Pig Diaries I suggest you go out and read one or both of those books. I am not 100% locked in but I may take another run at radical honesty in the near future.

Also I am glad to report that my body didn't attack me after eating a sausage mcmuffin for breakfast and hopefully there isn't an intestinal revolution until well after Easter supper.

It Would Be Better For Us If You Don't Understand

For whatever reason very few people looked at my last post. Maybe 5 people tops which isn't overly surprising, in hindsight a post that is all links and no thoughts makes for a poor read. Here's hoping this one is better (Hint: it is!)

I spend way to much time online. I'm not sure why since I rarely do things that are important or productive online but from time to time I find things that are absolutely profound. Recently I have found two things that accurately describe to a point that is almost eery. Everyday I make sure I read the three daily articles on Cracked since they are always hilarious and/or informative. Two Fridays ago Daniel O' Brien wrote an article that basically covered how I live my day to day life. For those of you who don't know I am horribly horribly socially awkward and if you aren't but are curious to know how people like myself operate read here. Unfortunately blogger doesn't show anything from the other end of the link but such is life.

So as I said there are two things that describe me and how I live me life. The second thing is an internet meme that I didn't pay much attention to when I first saw it except that I laughed at it a bit. However the more often I saw it the more I began to realize that great jumping jehosophat that it is me. The meme I am talking about is of course the Socially Awkward Penguin. For those of you unfamiliar with SAP it looks like this

I do this everyday.

 and this

Those are just samplings of of the things me and the SAP both do. There are hundreds more SAP pictures  and all of them are just as accurate. So the next time you think to yourself "What is wrong with that fellow something isn't quite right with that boy" Refer to the previously mentioned works and you will realize that I am even more "wrong" than originally thought.

I Can Call You Betty, And Betty When You Call Me You Can Call Me Al

I have been trying to think of a post where I could work in some hilarious videos of Stephen Colbert preparing to meet the queen. Unfortunately I couldn't so I am just going to put them on here because I started crying I was laughing so hard. You might not find them quite that funny but if you get a fraction of the joy I did it will be well worth your time. So here they are in no particular order

So it seems I can't actually post the videos, just link to them so here it is Stephen Colbert preparing to meet the queen  Stephen ruining high tea and because 3 is better than 2 Stephen Colbert singing with roots The first two are definitely better than the third but I still suggest you watch it due to it's absurdity

While I am linking funny stuff I might as well throw The Pop Songs of 2010 With Proper English up as well.

This should keep you entertained on a Saturday have a great weekend!

Well I'm Running Down The Road Trying To Loosen My Load.

Don't worry I haven't forgotten that this blog exists I have just been very busy doing other things like cleaning my house finding a birthday present for my mother and submitting posts for SYP's Blog AKA the blog that has gotten more hits in one week than I have in 3 months. I suggest you check it out since I'm just one of many people with the privilege of contributing to it. Seriously if you haven't already read all the posts over there go now read them comment on them tell your friends about them then come back here I'll wait... Take your time no hurry... O.K. come back here now.

I recently made an interesting little discovery that I think is kind of significant. When you were in High school you were always told that all the stupid little problems you deal with on a day to day basis would disappear. You wouldn't have to worry about grades or who to take the dance next Friday or other trivial things like that. Unfortunately whoever told you such things was either misinformed or decide to lie to you just a bit. You see these problems don't disappear in fact they grow and evolve into things that aren't trivial. You go into University and grades matter even more and then you get a job and grades change into Job performance and now you no longer get a mark after every test. You may think your an A+ employee when in reality your one task away from unemployment. Finding a date for the dance more or less stays the same eventually becoming who should you marry. If you thought that after leaving high school you wouldn't have to worry about what clothes you wore and things of nature you were wrong again. The way you dress can decide whether or not  you get a job or promotion and then if you get to keep it or not. Plus once your done high school you get the joy of paying rent and buying your own food and creating a budget so that you don't have to resort to selling your kidneys on the black market in order to buy a bagel. I could go but I think you get the point.

Of course some things get much better once your out of high school. You no longer have a curfew your legal drinking age and can vote. You can more or less do as you wish without getting grounded and you have a greater choice in the people you associate with and you can also ditch some of the people you used to know who quite frankly you only tolerated because you had to spend 3 hours sitting beside them every single day. If your at a job or don't think your getting paid enough you can quit or get a raise. (Try telling a teacher or professor that if they don't bump you up to a B+ your dropping the class let me know how that turns out for you)

But back to the main point the problems you face now won't go away however if your smart you will deal with them now so they aren't as big of an issue down the road. Remember if you don't learn from your mistakes your bound to repeat them and I doubt you want to do that. Unless of course their awesome mistakes that make great stories like the time you woke up and didn't know what city your in. If you make those kind of mistakes don't bother learning.

Also it's Spring suck it snowmen!

If I Was Someone Else Would This All Fall Apart?

Today was a good day. Jacko left so I will no longer have to deal with him and his general creepiness. Actually that is really the only thing that happened today besides the fact that I was in bed all day watching T.V. I'm not sure why but most of my favorite T.V. show focus on people doing illegal things. Shows like The Wire, Breaking Bad, Dexter, Sons of Anarchy etc. I'm not sure what it is but I find that I can into these shows much easier than I can conventional dramas and comedies. Maybe deep down inside I want to do bad things or maybe I enjoy these shows because of the people trying to thwart the criminals or maybe it's the fact that in almost all these shows the criminals have good intentions. Even in The Wire where the main criminal organization doesn't have any good intentions you have characters like Omar who is a Robin Hood-esque character or in the second season you have the dock union that may be doing bad stuff but it does it to ultimately help everyone in the union keep their jobs. However I now feel rather guilty since I decided to Torrent The Wire and Sons of Anarchy since I never see them on T.V. and I couldn't afford to by each season of each series so now I am trying to figure out a way to financially show my support for these incredible T.V. series. The fact that I have yet to meet anyone else who has watched The Wire is very disappointing since I believe it may be the single greatest program to ever appear on Television. If you do not believe this to be the case then watch the first season or at the very least watch this clip

also I want to meet someone who has seen the series to have an Omar vs Brother Mouzone debate with

I recently talked about the likelihood of a federal election here and of course for those of you who remember it or just read you now know that I was wrong. Way wrong. So now that we are in election season I have decided to blog about the election however I won't be doing that here instead I have made a second blog to talk about all the fun political stuff. I have decided not to link to it here or announce it's title but it's also not hidden so it should be easy enough to find if you feel like reading it and if you decide to leave it be it's no skin off my nose.

You're A Top Ten Kingpin In The Borders Of Your Hometown

Well look at this I have actually managed to do something I said I would do in my blog. Before I get into how much fun I am having with lent I will bore a potion of you to death. March is a wonderful month, spring starts, my birthday is in march, and the federal and provincial budgets happen in march. I am not entertained by the budgets as much as all the hullabaloo that surrounds them. The provincial budget had a surprising amount of fanfare in comparison to other years. I believe this may have something to do with the fact that is an election year. I haven't really looked at it but so far nothing jumps out as evil unless you happen to be an opposition MLA in that case you are paid to think today's budget will destroy the province and give cause the sun to explode, likewise all government MLA's are paid to tell you this is the best budget in the history of finance and that it contains the cure for all the worlds diseases. So just like all things that politicians take it with a heavy grain of salt. Of course Federally things aren't quite as hunky dory thanks to the joys of a minority government that could implode upon itself if someone has baked beans for lunch. As if by clockwork all the pundits and people "in the know" are saying that an election is imminent. These are the same people who say an election is imminent at least 3 times a year. I'm beginning to think it is part of  their contract to whip people into an election frenzy whenever the word budget, coalition or government is uttered. True all the parties have said that they will not support the budget however it wouldn't be the first time nobody claimed to support the budget even if drastic changes are made and then suddenly wholeheartedly support the budget after a few minor changes. Unlike many of my peers I will not get on the election bandwagon unless I am trying to knock the wheels off until a date is set in stone.

Now onto the reason I am blogging instead of being productive. If you are remotely religious or used to have an inkling of religion or know of religion you know about Easter and possibly lent. For those not in the know lent is the 40 days before Easter Sunday in which you give up something you enjoy. Despite the fact that I am not overly religious anymore I still enjoy and partake in lent annually mainly because I enjoy challenging myself from time to time. In the past I have given up such things as coffee, video games, and last year the hardest challenge to date lying. This year I decided to give up something I have numerous times a day but others never even think of touching. This year I am giving up meat. That includes chicken as well as beef and pork however I am still eating seafood. As well because I am giving up meat specifically I still enjoy eggs and milk on a regular basis which makes it easy. So far the most difficult thing is forgetting to plan ahead and having to eat out. There are non meat options but ,any of them are just rip offs. Such as a veggie sub from subway or mr.sub. I refuse to pay for something it is only "complimentary veggies" and priced the same as a real sub. So far the best options are McDonalds fillet of fish or Booster Juice as well as anything you can find in Superstore or Sobeys. After 3 weeks the only thing I miss is bacon however by Easter Sunday I will probably be willing to do horrible horrible things for meat. Also I learned watching epic meal time videos is a very bad idea when you can't eat meat so for those of you who are meatetarians enjoy this because I can't

I'm not sure how appetizing this would be if I wasn't going through meat withdrawal

Oh My Heart Is Sinking, Same Old Useless Worn Out Thinking

My veins suck. That is probably the strangest way to start a post but it all makes sense. The last time I donated blood was may of 2009. I tried a few other times but there were always scheduling issues or I would plain old forget. Today though I remembered my appointment and I was there on time. My iron level was O.K. and my temperature and blood pressure were just fine. Unfortunately I forgot to drink water. For most people this would be a minor issue and the only drawback would be that it would take a few extra minutes. However as most people know be it a good thing or a bad thing I am not most people. Because I didn't drink any water my horrible deep veins were just shy this side of impossible for the poor nurses to find and when they finally found one on my right side it decided to spit a little bit of blood out. Just enough to fill the line but not enough to touch the bag and it also hurt more than usual so I now have a lovely little bruise on my right arm. At this point I had two options. Option A give up and go away or B. accomplish what I set out to do and fill a bag full of my precious red fluids. I chose B and I moved my butt over to a new chair and and got my left arm all taped up and pumped up so that it turned purple and fell asleep. The nurse stuck the needle in this time and out came... Nothing. For my efforts I got two little holes in my arm two juice boxes and a few timbits. However I learned a valuable lesson. Drink a gratuitous amount of water and maybe I will be able to get rid of my blood.

So with that out of the way I will move on to something I debated talking about last week but decided not to because I didn't feel overly open and sharing. Today I have changed my mind mainly because the idea has managed to last a week and remain relevant. I continually compare myself to other people. I do this so that I can gauge how  successful or normal I am in different areas. For relationships I compare myself to two people. One is my best female friend and the other is my one friend who still lives in P.A. Traditionally I have been on the same level as one or both of them or slightly ahead. However that is no longer the case and I am not sure how I feel about this. I am happy for both of them but I do not like being last relationship wise and to make things even more fun I can't even switch who my barometer is since all of my close friends are all in more or less successful relationships. In fact the only single people I know are people I only talk to once every few months tops. It's especially frustrating since at the moment I don't even have any options or even pipe dreams. Basically all I can do is wait for one of my friends to become single but I don't want that since they are my friends and wanting them to be single would make me a unjustifiable horrible person. In the meantime I will just have to make some new friends and hope the will be people I can realistically compare myself to.

I will make a post about Lent on Wednesday. I am saying this now so that I am forced to do it and if I don't I hope somebody guilts me into doing it

That's Great, It Starts With An Earthquake, Birds, Snakes, An Airplane And Lenny Bruce Is Not Afraid

I realize I haven't posted anything in almost a week. There are three reasons for this 1. I am lazy and unmotivated 2. I don't want this to become somewhere where I complain about things and really all I could have posted in the last week would be complaints and 3. I read this article about reality T.V. and how it effects the world and it mentioned blogs that are nothing but irrelevant thoughts. So for those three reasons I decided not to update this blog of irrelevant thought.

The major event in the world right now is easily the earthquake and tsunami in Japan and it should be. I have a few casual observations from the whole event. Right now Godzilla jokes are horribly offensive which is unfortunate because I have thought of a whole ton of them. Also people are horrible myself included because if the Godzilla jokes however I am better than people saying Japan deserved what happened due to Pear Harbor. Of that's the case America better be careful because I sink hole may consume the country in retaliation for Hiroshima and Nagasaki. I read a wonderful little blog post my friend made about Facebook status's and tweets that say pray for Japan or thinking about Japan, I cannot do it justice so I suggest you read it for yourself.

I should hopefully have another post in under 7 days this time. Just in case I don't I will leave you with this chart on waiting for someone to reply to a text. The question is was there a typo and it continues on.

I'm horribly guilty of doing this

I've Been Uptight and Made A Mess, But I'll Clean It Up Myself, I Guess

I have decided that I should share with you things that are keeping me up at night. Not in the sense that they scare me or are troubling but just run through my head aimlessly. Most of the time it is music sometimes it may be books or things like that so today I have two videos from two different artists. Both of them respective legends.

First it is one of The Tragically Hips Earliest singles Last American Exit

And a more recent single from Tom Petty off his 2006 Album Highway Companion

Sorry I couldn't find the original music video but it is the album version of  the song and not a live performance or cover

I find both of these singles extremely fascinating for different reasons. For Last American Exit it is interesting to listen to the Hip's earliest work and see how much it has changed in the twenty years they have recorded music. Last American Exit is off The Tragically Hip EP which was made when The Hip intended to be a blues group however by their third album "Road Albums" all trace of the blues is gone and they have become a straight up Rock group.

By comparison Saving Grace sounds like it could have been off of the classic album he made with the Heartbreakers Damn The Torpedo's. One of Petty's greatest strengths is that he never strays to for out into left field but also never sounds exactly the same. The fact that Petty was in The Traveling Wilburys with Beatle great George Harrison, ELO front man Jeff Lynne, Roy Orbison, and Bob Dylan only adds to his greatness.

Even if your not up late at night like myself defiantly check the videos out and don't blame me when you inevitably end up buying at least one of the songs on iTunes if not the entire albums they came off of.

Where Am I Going? Wouldn't You Love To Know.

I like Mondays. Most people don't but for me Monday is my Saturday, this is due to the fact that I work evenings and weekends. Most people don't like it but the way my shifts work out I can still do things after work on Friday and Saturday and sleep it off Sunday afternoons then I have two days where I can more or less do what I want. I can go home to P.A. like I did yesterday or I can stick around Yorkton and do... well I could do nothing but that's not the point. There is only one thing that I don't like about my schedule. Note that I say schedule and not Job because I love my Job. Anyways the problem with my schedule is that from time to time good things happen on Saturdays and they happen far far away from Yorkton. Such as The SYP March Mini happening this weekend. If you wish to ask how I feel about my schedule don't, I have answered that question so many times that soon I am going to start making up answers such as "I don't like working on weekends but if I drink enough I forget I'm at work". Or maybe "I don't even show up I just voice track it a few weeks in advance".

I still love coming back home to P.A. the girl who was living in my bedroom has left so I have my nice water bed back and as earlier stated whenever I come home the liquor cabinet opens up. Sometimes if I am lucky there will be some new and exotic thing that Dad recently found. Yesterday it was a Black and Tan. For those of you who have never had the good fortune to have a Black and Tan or knowing what it is. Simply put it is Ireland's greatest export. To make a Black and Tan you require Guinness and Harp (Irish Ale) you can theoretically use any ale such as Keiths but Irish Ale ads to the legitimacy. You fill a pint glass half full with Harp and then very delicately and slowly poor the Guinness on top of the Ale. If done correctly you should have some nice tan ale sitting in the bottom of your glass and some dark Guinness sitting on top. I have decided it is now my goal to make the perfect Black and Tan. It will take time and practice but if you mess it up you just stir it and now it's an almost as good half and half. So should you come to Yorkton be prepared to be offered the greatest beer beverage there is.

I'm Gonna Beg, Borrow or Steal, So I Can Have Some Feelings Too

It's recap time! Both mine and Marley's blog are synced to post at the exact same time. So if you want to read a similar but  more successful post you can read her blog That's So Highschool 28 Days ago I said I would try to make it so I fit into my grad suit. Well after 1 whole month I can honestly say I don't fit into it anymore than I did February 2. I literally did nothing to help meet my goal aside from occasionally making sure I was only eating healthy foods and not 2 minute microwave junk. It seemed like everytime I went to go sign up for a gym membership the gym magically disappeared as if it was unplottable. Even more infuriating is the fact that numerous times when I was broke or to busy to get a membership the gym was in plane sight. I have not given up on my resolution and have until May to make sure it fits. On the other hand I finally got around to changing my guitar strings something I talked about doing back in January. Yes I procrastinate but eventually things to get done. I do plan to continue to attempt to get into my suit but don't expect anything anytime soon

I am going to Saskatoon on Friday and I am very excited about this since there are many people in Saskatoon that I haven't seen in quite awhile. Friday is also a mildly significant day and I will have more on that on Saturday most likely. So if you are reading this and I know you and you are in Saskatoon and you aren't already busy that night then give me a shout since I want to see as many people as possible while I am there since I have to leave by 8 A.M. on Saturday morning to be back at work on Noon.

And finally April will be a good month because as of April 1st Jack-O will no longer be living here. The Man Child is finally fed up with him and told him he has until the end of the month to get out here. You have no idea how happy this will make me since it seems everything Jack-O does drives me nuts. There is a slight chance that whoever replaces him will be worse but I highly doubt that would be possible. So things are looking up and that makes me happy! That also means less posts that consist of me complaining and more about how awesome everything is! That however does not mean I won't sneak in a few ripe cynical ones from time to time. Adios Amigos!

Pleased To Meet You Say Your Prayers, There Is No Way Back From Here

So I wanted to throw something in before the resolution re-cap so I asked Twitter what I should write about. I got two responses one that was very specific and that I knew nothing about (the impact the "Little Ice Age" had on the people of London during the Industrial Revolution, with evidence from A Xmas Carol via Phil ) Thankfully someone else gave me numerous suggestions Oscars (Yesterdays News), winter driving( Already touched on it here), sports (Maybe some other day), my favorite band (Would be a very very long and ADHD filled post), and snow. Before I talk about snow I have something else to say.

I am not an optimist, I am also not a pessimist, I am a realist. This means that I don't sugarcoat things but I also don't ignore good things when they happen. I am however quite cynical and subscribe to the George Carlin Theory that it's all bullshit and it's bad for you. Many people do not like this and complain loudly when I point out the ridiculous things people say and do. Last night and an Oscar party I was called a "horrible person" and a "Cynical Jerk" (I only agree with the first part of that one) for scoffing at speeches that included more than a passing mention to people to people the speaker "loved" but didn't contribute to the film in the slightest and for showing my distaste when Natalie Portman said something about how her greatest accomplishment wasn't the Oscar but the fact she got herself knocked up. On the other hand I had no problem when one of the many males onstage who won something for the kings speech thanked his boyfriend. This is good for two reasons 1. He didn't make a big deal out of it and mentioned in passing and 2. I had never heard anyone thank a same sex partner during a speech so I found it kind of neat. I will have more on my Cynicism in the future as well a bit on self depreciating humor but that won't be for awhile 

I hate snow I hate the cold so I hate winter. Winter has no redeemable qualities. Seriously there is nothing that you can do in winter that doesn't a have a superior summer counterpart. Snowmobiling in the winter quading in the summer. Hockey in the winter road hockey and a ton of other sports that you can't play in the winter in the summer. Cross Country Ski-ing in the winter Jogging without wearing a parka in the summer. The list goes on almost indefinitely! I could probably handle winter if it wasn't for the snow but that's not how winter works. The only thing snow is good for is throwing and you get in trouble for doing that. There is only one good thing about winter and that is the fact that your freezer space increases 10 fold due to the fact you can place certain items outside for a few months and not worry about them freezing. On the other hand leaving any liquid in the car for a few hours causes an explosive mess.

Also I if you want to read other blogs that I also enjoy there is a collection of them that can be found at the bottom of the front page.

I Get Ideas I Get A Notion, I Want A Nice Little Boat Made Out of Ocean.

So I wasn't going to post but for some unexplainable reason I got 9 readers today despite the fact I only got two on the day I published it. I am still trying to figure out the logistics behind "blogging" but I am slowly learning new things. I am slightly conflicted with it though because I want to have as many people as possible read this because it would be a giant ego boost (Yes I am aware that 90% of the people who read that last line will never read this again) on the other hand I mention people in here and I don't say the nicest things about them like my stupid roommate Jacko who I hope gets a urinary disease because he drives me and the The Man Child absolutely insane. Yes I know that I don't use real names but it is not hard for them to know I am talking about them which is why I don't post anything on Facebook and leave it for twitter and word of mouth. There is literally no point to that I am just killing time until my chicken nuggets are done.

I am linking to Marleys Blog again because she has decided to co-ordinate posts for March the 2nd for a month a after February resolution thing. I won't talk about the results until that day instead I give you an update from This Post. My dear dear mother found me some weird liquid thing that contains Melatonin and it works incredibly well. Three nights in a row I have gotten more than 7 hours of sleep and and was in bed before Midnight! This meant I was able to be at work by 8 A.M. to do show prep which meant my show sounded good which makes me happy! Ya that's right I used an exclamation mark for two sentences in a row because I was yelling the whole time. That Time I wasn't. Anyways there will be a new post on Wednesday at the latest possibly Monday or Sunday if I feel super ambitious. I won't but still I can pretend I will. My nuggets are done so I'm out

And I'll Never Promise Anything Again

I am having another strange experience at home. I decided I would come home to P.A. for a few days despite the fact that my family won't be home for another hour and I have been here since Sunday night. One of the things I always like about coming home is that it always seems like my favorite things were eaten for supper a day or two before I arrived and because I come from a family of functioning alcoholics I will be offered an alcoholic beverage of my choice. When I arrived home I knew nobody would be here but I wasn't quite prepared for how weird it would be. Before I go on I should also mention that my parents left last Sunday my sister left on Wednesday and the girl that is staying with us left Friday. So one of the first things I noticed was that the house smelled different so I decided to wander around and discovered the smell was dirty dishes and stale bread. I decided to check the fridge to see if there was anything I could whip up quickly to eat. There may have been I don't know but I know that the fridge smelled awful thanks to ancient leftovers and rotten vegetables. I decided that since I was here and things needed cleaned I would do the dishes and get rid of some of the other clutter and mess scattered around the house. After doing this I decided that a drink would be nice so I went to the holy cabinet and decided that a nice rye and coke or rye and ginger to help relax. I was happy to find that there was a nice full bottle in the cupboard unfortunately it was unopened and I just couldn't bring myself to break the seal so I instead decide to try something I have never tried before and it wasn't all that bad so it wasn't a total loss.

It's my favorite time of the year right now. That's right folks it's political attack ad season! Both the Conservative Party federally and the NDP provincially have decided to either defend their honor and stop an election or gear up for a scheduled election. It's all very serious stuff but I still find it amusing since neither of them are very effective. However after seeing these ads I am very glad that we don't follow the American style of political ads. Ours are kind of bland and boil down to vote for us and not the other guys are almost identical to us and run for about a week. On the other hand American ad's a very angry and boil down to don't vote for the other jack wagon who is possibly a Nazi and run for almost a year sometimes. It will be interesting to see what happens this year. I know I will be voting for the first time in the fall provincially at the latest but there is always a chance that I will be voting federally before that thanks to the joys of the minority government.

Baby, It's 3 A.M. I Must Be Lonely

It's kind of ridiculous that I didn't post anything for a whole week but it's been a long week for some reason. I am back to working evenings which means that the time I usually write stuff 6-Midnight I am now at work which messes things up. Once I am off work I come home and watch late night T.V. and anything I decided to record from when I was at work then around 2 I attempt to go to bed and maybe if I am lucky by 4:30 I am asleep. I am notoriously lazy and unmotivated so I generally don't wake up until at least Noon if not later then I have some lunch and do random house stuff like laundry and dishes and stuff until about 2. I will admit from around 2-3:30 there is a window of nothing where I could write stuff such as this but I generally spend it doing as little as possible. Then at 3:30 I go and either make or buy something to eat for supper later by 4 I am at work doing prep until 6. I apologize for just writing what is literally the most boring thing ever that is one of the downsides to just writing what happens to pop into your head. If you want to read something interesting and actually useful I would suggest checking out Just Putting It Out There it's a new blog a friend of mine has started and it has some neat stuff in it.

If anyone out there has a tip or trick for falling asleep please let me in on it I am in desperate need of a way to fall asleep. For the last few weeks it doesn't matter how tired I am I just cannot seem to be able to sleep. I toss and turn for hours and eventually I nod off. The good thing is that once I am asleep I am down for the count for a solid 5 hours or longer and even if I wake up I have no trouble falling back asleep but that isn't overly helpful when you know you have to work 6 A.M. and you go to bed at Midnight and end up tossing and turning until 4:30 and end up only getting 30 minutes of sleep. It's maddening it's to the point now where it doesn't matter how ridiculous it sounds  I will try it. I even tried using Nyquill but that did absolutely anything. If this keeps up much longer I will just resort alcoholism and drink myself to sleep. Actually I won't due to the fact that I wouldn't be able to afford it. Anyways if you have the secret to sleep let me know I am tired of not getting any sleep (Pun totally intended) I'll try not to go a whole week without posting anything this time!

There Goes Another Love Song, Someones Singing About Me Again

I haven't made a post in four days so this one is going to be double stuffed like an Oreo. In case you haven't seen the bazillion status's on Facebook and Twitter or the T.V. ad's and themed episodes it is Valentines Day. I don't have a problem with Valentines per se as much as I have a problem with how people act on and around Valentines Day. There are three different people when it comes to today and I have a problem with two of them and I am not sure which one is worse.

The first person lives for Valentines day. They have spent today eating heart shaped chocolate and showing everyone the flowers/stuffed animals/overpriced Valentines themed Junk the poor soul who they are dating has gotten them. They have to know what everyone they know is doing to celebrate the most important day of the year when it comes to love. If you say you have no plans you are dead to them and if you do tell them what you and your significant other are doing they will scoff and say if they really loved you or if you really loved them you/they would be doing what I'm doing tonight. If you are single they will ask who your date/valentine is. If you have one be prepared to explain that this person is not your significant other and that's why you didn't get them something with a diamond the size of a turnip. If god forbid you don't have anyone or any plans for today be prepared to spend the next 10-15 feeling guilty and feeling like crawling into a hole and dying because you either prefer not to spend an evening with a person you don't know or like or just simply don't have anyone.

The second person hates Valentines day and all the people who like it. They have spent today ranting and raving about how today is a representation of all that is wrong with society. If you have any plans for tonight you are dead to them. If you try to tell them that you are just making supper for someone because you care about them or have nothing better to do they will tell you about how your just some schmuck who doesn't even know what love is and so on and so forth. If this person does do anything for anyone today they claim to do it "Ironically" or they claim they were forced to by society's social norms The problem I have with these people is that they go out of their way to tell you how much they hate today even if you don't ask. I will admit I used to a part of this group but I have moved away from them and hopefully have more in common with the third group.

The third person is someone who recognizes that there are good and bad things about today. They may celebrate it in some way or the may not. The Man Child is in this group. He and his girlfriend had supper (which I made since it is a Monday and I didn't travel back to P.A.) here they didn't exchange gifts or make a big deal out of anything it was nice and I had no problem with them being here or cooking for them. This year I said I would un-friend anyone who made a big deal out of Valentines day since I don't really care about it. This year it was directed at group one and I think that next year I will be direct at both groups. And yes I realize that this put's me into group two a little bit but I like to think that because it is directed at the people and not the day it is sort of O.K.

If you want a good description of group two check out this Oatmeal comic http://theoatmeal.com/blog/valentines_day. Just like everything Mr. Oats does it is hilarious check it out. Also if you think everything I just wrote is total B.S. let me know so I don't end up actually saying this too someone. I hope today was filled the third type of person and cheap candy

I Wish The Real World, Would Just Stop Hassling Me

For the second time so far I don`t want to write anything but someone asked me too so I feel obligated don`t ask me why. I try not to be bitter but today sucks for some reason sucks. It just seems like everything is trying to straight up get me down. It`s probably karmic retribution for small acts of torture. Seriously earlier I watched Community the one thing that always makes me laugh and fills my heart with joy. Alas for the first time ever this was not the case. I have tried everything possible and just to make things worse the one thing that will make me feel better isn't possible. I know that if I could get some music going I would be back on a trail to being up but as I went to play some Hip my speakers died. So I am stuck being miserable and the stupid part is I shouldn't be since things aren't that bad which makes me guilty since it could be worse which brings me down even more. It's a vicious circle! O.K. so this while writing process is strangely therapeutic.

One of the problems I have is that I always compare myself to others which in itself isn't bad but now I am by the youngest person at work by a few years and I compare myself to everyone and ask myself why I am not doing as well as them and it frustrates me. Thankfully I eventually realize it's mostly because they have a 3-5 years head start on me. I really hope the next post is about how awesome everything is and not how I can't get time off from SYP and that people don't answer e-mails and other things. By the way don't give up on this sad excuse for a blog I feel like a T.V. writer in the sense that I have some awesome posts and ideas on the way but I am spacing them with mindless drivel about my life. If nothing else check back in on Valentines Day it will be a gooder and if you have any advice on how I can quit sucking at life let me know!

You Can Ponder Perpetual Motion, Fix Your Mind On a Crystal Day

I have decided I will write about leaf next time when the whole saga is over. Also I won't rant about Jack-O I will instead describe how I entertain myself now. It's called small acts of torture and I stole the idea from a Stuart McLean story. It works like this everyday I do things that by themselves are no big deal or would go unnoticed however in conjunction with everything else or by doing them everyday they become things that drive you insane. One example would be baking once a week and always making something the person your torturing hates. If they confront you about your evil it is easy to turn the tables. One that I enjoy is changing the setting on Jack-O's laptop whenever he isn't around and leaves it out in the open specifically his internet settings. Every time this happens he gets frustrated and blames the router or the stupid computer for not letting him go online. Another fun one is shutting off the lights when they are still in the room. You don't do it every time just once every day or two. I am able to think of new ones everyday some are mostly harmless and usable in this situation others are quite malicious and not applicable.

I am undoubtedly paranoid. If you ever want to scare the crap out of me send me a text or leave a message saying, call me its urgent. My boss likes to send me texts at 6 A.M. saying are you coming in today I need to talk to you it's important. Every time I get that message I think I am about to be fired even if I haven't done anything wrong I blow everything out of proportion. The other day my dad text-ed me saying call me when your free it's important. I thought somebody had died it turned out he wanted to know if I had something he had asked me to do the day before (which I had). I would be so much happier if there was some way of including a rating at the end on how dire the conversation will be. From now on when I send a call me message I will include a number at the end of the message between 1 and 10. 1 being the burger I just ate was really delicious and 10 being your whole family fell off a cliff and died. So next time I leave a message that says call me when you get a minute 3 you will know not to freak out.

Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right...

O.K. I have a dilemma. I have two roommates The Man Child and Jack-O you could say I have three roommates if you include leaf. Anyways I like living with The Man Child we both agree on how clean the house should be are schedules work that we see each other every day but not so often we get sick of each other. Jack-O on the other hand makes me miserable. The Man Child likes to say he lives with a nineteen year old and a forty year old who acts like he is seventeen. My dilemma is that I want to vent out my frustrations with him on here since this is a weird public diary. However I don't want this to become something where I just rant about people that bother me since it would be totally irrelevant. Should the next post be about Jack-O or should it be an update of my time looking after leaf while The Man Child is gone to Cuba?

The Train Don't Run Through Here No More, Poor Poor Pitiful Me

It's groundhog day. Normally I would barely notice this day any other year but this year it is slightly more important. Today I start my Groundhog Day resolution. I decided January sucked so much that it was not humanly possible to follow through with resolution plus it will be easier to complete me resolution knowing that everyone else has failed already. I am not the only person who thinks this. My friend and fellow youth parliamentarian Marley (Who also has a blog http://tshs.wordpress.com/) agrees with me and claims she is starting her resolution today as well. Starting today I will attempt to fit into my grad suit again. This is a very realistic ask since it technically does fit but its very awkward so from this point forward I will do things that should hopefully help me reach this goal. This includes walking instead of driving for short distances and taking the stairs whenever possible. I refuse to diet but I will watch what I eat and drink more water than anything else. I am also in the process of finding a gym to work out at. I will defiantly have to start by getting my cardio up before I work on anything else since I haven't had a real run in well over a year. Another one of my female friends also decided to have a weight loss challenge with me this month. She will most likely win but it will be an added incentive to attempt to be healthy.


In mere moments I will be going out to buy supplies for a strawberry shortcake and special dip. Normally this wouldn't be noteworthy but tonight I will most likely be doing one of my favorite things for the last time. Since roughly the start of October once or twice a month I have been going over to one of my friends house and baking or cooking something. Generally a desert of some kind is made as well as special dip. Unfortunately the friend I do this with is the same friend who is leaving Yorkton for bigger and better things (hopefully). Her leaving has made me realize something though. Compared to 10 years ago it is much easier to stay in touch with people. Think about it ten years ago you could call, mail a letter, or maybe send an e-mail depending on if you had a computer that also had internet access. Today I can text this friend, use Facebook in various forms, I can Skype her, possibly twitter but that's slightly unlikely, or if I wanted to be old fashioned I could call her or send an e-mail but I won't be sending any letters. This realization makes it easier to accept that she is leaving but it will still be difficult. I will just have to hang out with the little man a little more or maybe I will spend the time I would normally have spent hanging out with her working out instead. I doubt it

Is it just me or are these things getting longer everytime? I'll keep that in mind next time.

Damn The Torpedoes

So my plans to be productive actually worked! I was in work later than I wanted but I got prep done and my show sounded way better! I was able to have more cohesive breaks and some of them were kind of funny. My last break of the day inspired me to create a new game called What Does it Take To Make People Call In. The way this game works is to make people call in because of what I say and not for contests. The goal is not to be offensive, all that would do is get me fired and nobody wants that (I hope). Today I made sure I had a coworker come on with me so that I didn't accidentally become offensive. I will call this coworker Yellow for no reason other than I like the way it sounds. Today the game turned out well I had two people call in. One said I was a complete idiot for saying that people should text and drive to fight peer pressure, The other caller hung up before I could talk to them I am thinking they would have said something similar.

Why are the Kardashians famous? This question is boggling and angering. They have no talent or known skills except being famous. At least Paris Hilton pretended to sing and act and there was only one of her. I am beginning to think the Kardashians are multiplying like some strange mutant that splits into two indecipherable copies every year. Apparently they were on a talk show and claimed they were hard working and their talents were marketing. They are not hard working they party all night. They have no skills in marketing they have skills in dating B-list celebrities recording their sexual antics having one of their cronies release the recordings when they inevitably break up. Then they play the victim and lap up the sympathy and media attention while recording another tape for when everyone gets sick of their last exploit and moves onto real news. If anyone out there can explain peoples fascination with these harpies and can figure out why people watch TV shows centered around their shallow and petty antics please let me know!

Also Bill Gates is on the Daily Show right now. More people should focus on him and his charitable efforts instead of people that are famous for being famous and the world will be a better place!

Will You Bring Me Happiness, Will You Bring Me Sorrow?

What is the protocol for writing a blog when you have nothing that you really want to write about. It's not that I haven't done anything it's just I don't feel like writing about any of it. I didn't originally intend for this to be a rant blog since many people do not enjoy rant's and enough people do it already but over the last  few weeks this one has been building and I have vented it a few times without anyone telling me to fall off a cliff so I will eventually put it in here but not today mainly because I am still half asleep from my nap. Actually I am quite proud of myself since I was able to nap for only 3 hours instead of the usual 7. A 7 hour nap would severely screw me up for tomorrow since I  have to be in by 9 A.M. however I will try to be in by 7:30 or 8 so I can do proper prep. I should have been doing prep this whole time but I am lazy and un-motivated  so I just used my laptop and did it on the fly. I have decided there is no time like the present to apply myself and get the best sounding show I possibly can.


Starting Thursday I will be starting the most important task of my life. On Thursday morning The Man Child is leaving at some ungodly hour to go to Cuba and that means I will be looking after the single most important thing in the whole house and possibly the whole world for a week. I have been tasked with looking after Leaf. For those of you who don't know Leaf she is a 12 year old border collie and she is the closest thing to a child that The Man Child has. This doesn't sound like an overly hard task but there are 3 things that will make this difficult. The first being that Leaf is a mooch hound. It doesn't matter what you have, it if it goes in your mouth she wants. This includes everything from soup to Advil. If your eating something that she can eat and there is a fair amount of it then giving her some is no big deal but when you have something like chocolate that she can't have or if there is just enough for yourself and you can't share with her she looks at you as if your withholding food from a starving Ethiopian. Second if something should happen to Leaf I am dead. If she so much as has a Grey hair that wasn't there when The Man Child left I will have to leave town and change my name. This wouldn't be too bad if she was a young dog however it is entirely possible that I could do nothing wrong and she could become ill. And most importantly Leaf becomes incredibly depressed when The Man Child leaves to go pick up a can of pop. I cannot imagine how she will react to The Man Child leaving for one week. If you hear rumors of me leaving the country and never returning you know what happened. This turned out to be a much longer post than intended. Not bad for not wanting to write anything!

  The David Formerly Known as Johnson